The World Race - Monica Myers

Obey at ANY cost!!!

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Hmmm...I don't even know how to tell you the things we did last month in LIRA, Uganda and what God has been challenging me on or what areas I am growing in....
Last month was amazing...I was able to actually spend time with all the people and focus more on ministry then what God is changing in my life! This is something that happens out here on this race quite a bit because this trip is for many things but a huge part of it is for us to grow ourselves to become more like Christ and to truly discover what it is God wants to do with my life!

He just wants me to love Him and Love His people

Ministries I was involved in last month......

        I worked with the HIV positive living club...(they meant each Friday and would share stories and encourage each other, and we PRAYED every time for God to HEAL them) - I don't know the results but I trust that God did heal people because I was obedient in that.
        We worked with the COMPASSION kids office...(Here we helped with filing the paperwork on each child and teaching in their Saturday afternoon classes for the children)
        Echoes of Grace was a dancing ministry they had at the church...(Brenda and I joined and learned 2 challenging but very fun dances to perform on Sunday at church as another way to worship the Lord in all our giftings He has blessed us with)
        We were also involved in the hospital ministry...(It was more of something our friend we made there, Sam, asked us to be a part of, we went and prayed over the different people and units in the hospital, and just went to encourage them in their faith)
        We went to the Prison a couple times and preached...(Priscilla, Brenda, and I spoke to them the first time about freedom and what that really means and how we have to believe and trust in Him even when we don't want too...it was amazing just to be able to encourage them and see their smiling faces as we left and pray healing over them)
        A Nursing School had meetings every Sunday night...(This was a BEAUTIFUL thing, all of us worshiping together. We screamed our love for the Lord with family we didn't even know)
        Door to door evangelism...(I will admit that this one scared me, but we went out and I left all the speaking to the Lord and HE used me!!! I said things I didn't even know because the Spirit was speaking through...PRAISE GOD... we led several people to the Lord which are now involved in Cell groups twice a week and growing in their faith)
        My biggest ministry of the month was working with the staff at the hotel where we were staying ...(there were about 10 staff for this Place called Alpha Hotel that worked so hard from sun up to passed sun down. So I just joined in with them and built many amazing relationships while I made up the beds, cooked lunch and dinner, did laundry, kept up the grounds. This was the ministry God told me to get involved with and much fruit would come from it! So I did and I miss them all so much and pray for them constantly)
So after all these ministries last month I learned many things...One of the biggest ones and I would love for you guys to join me in prayer about this is obedience....and I don't just mean listening and doing the things God has told you and even when it sounds crazy and you know everyone will think you're crazy and you don't know the outcome of all of it, to OBEY and do it, NO questions asked!
I just heard a true story of a woman who was standing outside a store and she blatantly heard the Lord tell her to stand on her head. Of course as any of us would she wrestled with this in her mind for a couple seconds and then said okay God, this sound nuttso but I will do it... So then there was a lady walking out of the store having the worst day of her life but has heard God tell her to give Him another chance, she said, "Okay God if I come out this store and someone is standing on their head, then I will"
   Now I know that God doesn't always work this way but in this case He did. And I was talking with my friend Brandy and we were saying how God is so sovereign that He doesn't have time for us to not obey. He asked us but if He doesn't get an answer or some action then He will just move on to someone else who will OBEY! So we BETTER be willing to OBEY the Lord at any cost!

Thank you all so much for your prayers...Please continue with me to be praying for Radical OBEDIENCE to the Lord! Thank you and LOVE YOU ALL!!!

p.s. sorry there are no pictures the internet is to slow to upload them! :-( SORRY

SHARE our lives with others!!!

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

    Recently I was challenged that I should NOT share my story here on my blog page...that there are just certain things where I need to keep my personal life personal. And even here in Uganda as I attended the HIV positive living club meetings, they are encouraged to share their stories! This seemed to be a bit of a challenge for them at first. We waited for a while until a brave woman stoop up and told her story, then another, then another, and then young girl told her heartbreaking story of how she was only 13 and was living positively with HIV that she received from her mother. As she was up there she spoke about how she remembered to take her medicine everyday and she asked us to pray for her when we go back! So of course we said we would and as I was fighting back the tears...
    Another woman felt she should stand up and tell her story and as she introduced herself it happen to be this girl's mother. She spoke with a trembling in her voice as if she were about to cry every moment another word came out of her mouth. She was also HIV positive and said she had 5 children and two of them were infected by this horrible disease. I could feel the pain she had from passing this to her kids and she could do nothing about it! But in the end she said she knew God is GOOD and has done many amazing things in her life and she is soooo thankful that her and her two positive children are still alive! And also she asked for our prayers as we leave that place and return home. After she sat down she inspired many others to tell their stories of how they are living with this disease and still having FAITH in the Lord every day. Just in this small group they are breaking out of this mind set where we should keep personal things personal.
    I was speaking with my brother Austin on this matter last night and we were realizing that one of the reasons we went and discovered all the mistakes we made was because past generations have been so QUIET on these matters of where they struggled, where they fought to stay pure and what that battle looked like, of how they felt the guilt of their decisions when they did mess up. I believe that if our generations parents and grandparents were more open with us and truly shared their hearts with us then it might not have been taken as a lecture but receive it more as a HEART Issue. Now hear me right on this...I am NOT by any means saying that it was my parents or grandparents fault for any of the mistakes I made! (Please don't hear it that way) I made each and every choice on my own! I could have chosen another way every time, but I am saying I am going to be a lot more open with my children! (NOW I know there is a fine line and I will find that when I have a family of my own)
I see all the concerns with being this open on the internet, I really do! And I respect those concerns and the wanting to protect me. I am in a completely different generation and from a different time in history, I understand that. It doesn't mean the older generation should hold in all the ways God is growing them and letting joy be their strength in hard times or really relying on God to help them fight the temptations! It is NOT time to through in the towel...Rather the Opposite!!!
But this doesn't mean I can be silent! I CAN'T! Its not what God has created me to do... The way I was made was to share my life, my struggles, my joys, my fears, my dreams, my WHOLE life with people! How can I truly challenge or encourage people to grow if I don't share How He is growing me through all my failures, faults, and struggles!
In fact I Do NOT see anywhere in the bible where it tells us to stay quiet and hold our stories in! To not share our struggles and life challenges with everyone! NO Where! But I do see all over where Paul shares his trials and troubles, and encourages others to not follow in the same struggles he had. Also in Proverbs 27:17 it says that as Iron sharpens iron so does man sharpen man! Now if I am struggling with purity and impure thoughts and want to change my ways then also because I love my neighbor as myself I want them to follow in the ways of the righteous! I DO NOT want them to go down the same path or make the same mistakes I have made! So I will SHARE my story no matter how vulnerable and embarrassing that may be for me.
     And believe me there are things in my life I kept secret for years, things that I struggled with, things that made me feel like one of the worst people. But the moment I spoke these things out and shared, it released a hold, a power the devil had against me. It helped me truly deal with the issue instead of hide behind it, And it opened the door for others to speak out and share their stories when they thought they were the only one who struggled with that! We were Able to hold each other accountable!
I love them enough that it's worth the vulnerability and embarrassment! I think this is a misconstrued concept that we have to keep our personal lives personal!

So I wrote this big long thing in defense but mostly to share my thoughts....and mostly to say

We have to learn to share our Life with others!!!

MY THOUGHTS AND MIND NEEDS TO BE CLEAR!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Last night before I went to bed I started to write in my journal and pray and read my bible which has become an awesome routine in my life for the past couple weeks! So then as I was journaling and praying I stopped because I had to do my nightly bathroom break before bed! I was on my way out there and immediately it got very eery...I got the ebee geebees...if you know what those are haha! But the same feeling came that would come when I used to take my dog samson outside to use the bathroom at 2 in the morning! I became scared and it just felt like something was out there something was trying to attack this house and all the people in it!

I came back to the room and got in bed and noticed my teammate Rebecca was still awake so I told her what I had felt and read her my journal entry!..."I don't want us to get home and just decide to quit waking up ready for battle, its gonna be a struggle but that doesn't matter. I don't want to ever live my life being comfortable just living for myself and only myself not living everyday wanting to strive for more and grow in deeper intimacy with the Lord."

We had a really good discussion on how right when we are striving for so much more and our team truly is going all for everything with every inch of our beings, of course it would be the time for the enemy to come a knockin on our doors tryin to lead us astray! we said NO we are not letting that happen on this team! I feared for our dreams and sleep that night! So I started reading Psalm 91! This always helps when you think the enemy is trying to attack and work his way in your life. I really have been growing so much in just the ways from my last blog of how God is teaching me to be a woman of integrity in many ways, But as I have been growing and really really truly stepping out and doing the things I say the enemy is trying to attack more! As you know from my last blog my past has determined many of the ways my life has gone. I vowed though to put an end to this then and there....THE END.....but then as tends to be the case thoughts come creeping in. And today I found myself battling with thoughts from my past, just lustful thoughts that a WOMAN of God and with High integrity should not be walking in...so I was crying out to the Lord, wondering why these won't go away! I think this is something I have struggled with my whole life and I am sick and tired of it! I DONT want these thoughts to consume my head rather I want thoughts of our Lord most HIGH! I REALLY mean that too! It says over and over in scripture for our consciences to be clear and to have pure thoughts and a renewed mind.....Galatians 5:19-26, 2 Timothy 2:20-22, Hebrews 4:12-13, 1 Thess. 5:5-8 and there are many more I can't find at this moment.

So see I know it's possible to have pure thoughts but it is so much harder when you have gone beyond what you are suppose to in a physical relationship! BUT just because its harder because of my mistakes does not give me room to sit and wallow in self defeat! I WILL NOT live my life this way but rather depend on the Lord's strength to take over when I am weak! And although waking up every morning begging the Lord take captive my thoughts and totally remove any sinful lustful thoughts, might get redundant at times and feel pointless really...I DON'T CARE, I am going to have to wake up every morning praying these exact thoughts... IF and only IF I truly want to be freed from my past from my sinful nature! I am Monica CHRIST Myers NOT Monica Lustful Myers! No sirrry bob I will not claim that over my life or accept it!

So as you see this has been a battle for years and will continue to be if I don't give the thoughts to Him every time they enter in. This means....now I know I ask for a lot of prayers but thats what we should be doing as brothers and sisters...SO I am gonna ask again for your prayers....I need YOUR help also to fight this battle!

Thank you so much for the LOVE and support I get from you all everyday in prayers, financially and just encouragement! And I don't get to check internet that often here because it's so expensive but I really love getting encouragement from you all, any type of word from back home is definitely needed and highly appreciated! My email is sweetmon05@yahoo.com.......so write when you can or simply leave a message from on here my blog site! Oh and just an update as you see money is still coming in PRAISE THE LORD...I am at $1500 left to raise so not much more just please be in prayer for that as well! Oh and REALLY with a sincere heart I am asking you to please send me any prayer request or updates on life back home! (side note: Dad how are the colts doing who is in the playoffs...we have a bunch of wondering minds here in Kitale, Kenya! Just wanted to be able to have bragging rights if thats possible...so let me know...haha)

Love you all sooooo MUCH only because He loved me first and is teaching me to love more everyday...have blessed dreams tonight and a wonderful work week! :-)

This is a Brand NEW Year!!!

Sat, 2 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

A brand new year...I really don't like making resolutions and I really don't like over doing the whole new year thing and saying let's start everything afresh but I believe this year really is a new year for me! I feel I have been able to really see things totally different in...my life, my love, my self-control, my relationships, my future!

One area I will start out telling you all about that I have learned I need to change is self-discipline...self-control! So I say a LOT of things...I say I need to do a lot of things and yet do I actually get up and do them, sad to admit but NOPE!!! I have not really been a woman of integrity...a woman of my word! This is quite a shameful thing to admit for me! Because I have never ever thought I would be this woman or at least admit it to everyone reading my blog...ha! I tell people I will do things and then in my head I think it out and don't think it's such a good idea and don't do it or just have intentions to tell them I changed my mind and then it never comes out of my mouth! So I fail at that part too! Then even with myself I do not stand by my word! I say I will get up and read my bible and have prayer time and then when it is time to get up I simply decide that sleeping is more important...more important than battling in prayer for the day for my family, friends, this country and myself...more important than letting God give me revelations from His words for that day and simply just getting encouragement from it! WHAT am I thinking! REALLY!

In 1 Peter He says to think clearly and exercise self-control, and again still in 2 Peter 1:5-8 it says... In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God's promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

All of these things are sooo important together! Without one it is hard to have the other! If you continue on in this passage it says how we must work hard and prove that you are among those God has called and chosen. If these things are strived for then we won't fall away..... Right there is the ANSWER! If we can do these things and not fall away...then why in the world don't we do them and not fall away from our Lord! I mean really! There have been many things over the years I realized this about listening to all the music that is disgusting as in only has perverse meaning and just bad news ya know... So in realizing this about myself I tried having people keep my accountable by waking me up and reminding me to read my bible...but really I feel this is a very immature move...haha I mean really something a 13 year old would have their mom do! So I simply have to get up and do it! MAKE myself get up and MAKE myself read...and MAKE myself pray and its all within my own choices that will decide whether I do this or not! But I know my flesh is not always going to be strong enough so I beg the Lord to be that shove that gets me up because He knows my hearts and my longings to know Him deeper, so He will do just that WAKE me up in many ways!

The next issue of my life I would like to tackle has been an issue in my life for quite some time...it's in relationships as in the kind between a woman and a man! I recently have spoken with a couple of my sisters about my past experiences in relationships and how I didn't make the right decisions in them quite often! See quite a few years ago when I was only in Jr. High is when everything started to go downhill! And the thing of it was that I was not even concerned that it was dishonoring the Lord or hurting Him, I was more worried that I would get caught by my parents or someone else ya know! And it wasn't till I was a sophomore in college and had finally started dating someone in my grandmothers words haha...that I actually realized what it was that I had given away! There was this one thing I truly wanted to be able to give my husband and we had been talking about that and it was just that simple I couldn't give it to anyone because I had already given it away, this special gift that's meant for only my husband! (BTW some of these things you might not know about me and I am sorry this is the way you find out)

Then realizing this again after I was engaged and then not with Him any longer how truly disgusting I felt because I truly was in love with Christ and I couldn't even save myself or stay pure as He says in 2 Timothy 2:21-22...If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work. Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.... So as I saw in this verse...I know that God has redeemed me from all these things that I have got myself into and put myself through because He is so very gracious and forgiving and loving with His unfailing LOVE! But it wasn't till the other night when I was talking to my friends and sisters Brittany and Brenda that I really decided something...more as in God spoke to me and I actually listened! I know myself and I know my strengths and weaknesses and what I can get myself into. So as we sat and told stories of our past and discussed how good of an idea it would be to not kiss at all till we are married! Let me preface this by saying NEVER EVER did I ever think this was a good idea! I thought this was a decision only lame-o super Christian kids or homeschoolers made...sorry no offense all you that this might offend!

But Then as we kept speaking of the "no kissing" idea, I kept saying things that would bring up GOOD points in my head why I should do it! The Lord also reminded me of this verse that I loved and then I guess obviously just forgot about... Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body, Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20...The more I kept speaking to the girls about this matter the more I convinced myself the more God convinced me that the only way I was truly not going to go back down this path in the future and truly was going to be redeemed was by REALLY not putting myself in this position to even be able to mess up!!! SO I have decided to do NO Kissing until the day I say I do!!! NOW don't get me wrong I KNOW this is a bold statement and I KNOW this will be soooo HARD but it is what I AM GOING TO DO!!! J

LOVE you all sooo much! So in these bold statements I have made before ALL of you PLEASE keep me in your prayers! J thanks for all the support!

Christmas with familly in Turkey!!!

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Merry Christmas

First off I just want to say sorry for it being so long since my last blog...just been pretty busy!

So here it is My Christmas day and Eve in full length picture! The 24^th came around and we were all making plans for our special Christmas day meals and there was a party at the church where we are staying. So we had to prepare food and gifts and the whole church by cleaning and all that!

So anyways that night all the people of this church came over and we ate really good food may I add together, and sang, laughed and just had such a good time together! Actually this church is more of an international church in ways...we have people from Finland, Nigeria, Ghana, Russia, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Hungary, America and of course Turkey...and maybe a couple more I cant remember! J So they had each nationality group get up and sing a Christmas song from their country! The Americans, all the world racers sang Deck the Halls...with everyone of us on a different key! Sounded quite bad actually - haha - then after the singing we all sat around talking, taking pictures, laughing, ate more, and just hung out.

As we all hung out, many times throughout the night I would myself thinking about my family back home! Thinking about this being one of the first times I think...yep...that I wasn't around family for Christmas...and not really sad because I KNOW I was called by the Lord to be on this trip and that meant giving up Christmas with my family in Indiana! Right?!?! Yes!

So anyways back to the story...As I was thinking of this I started looking at each person in the room that night and realizing, as we all know, that each one of us had a story of why we were in this church in Turkey on Christmas Eve together...and that every person in the room was not with family - true blood family for Christmas...so just as I am not home.... and with my fam opening presents on Christmas Eve, having a big feast that sis and I planned all out together then going to grandma's house Christmas morning and helping her finish running around getting all the cooking done before all my cousins and aunt and uncle come over and getting to spend time the first Christmas with my two beautiful nieces, and just being able to see and be with family at this time....okay enough down memory lane...haha... Just as I was missing out on all of this everyone in the church was missing a piece of home too...and their family! But all together all of us made up an amazing family that brought glory to God in their laughter and songs! How awesome is this Monica...I thought to myself...you are not with your family you grew up with But God has blessed you to be with this even bigger family this year and celebrate His birth!!!

Really just one more thing I need to explain...stay with me here...So then Christmas morning came, and our team had an amazing brunch and did gifts, stockings. JThen I stayed home preparing dinner while mostly everyone went to skype family back home! So I decided I would just call later since everyone else really really needed to go call and I knew my fam would understand...So after about 3 hours and some of preparation I got this huge Mexican feast completed and we ate it allllll up and boy was it mmm mmm good!!! After Dinner and debrief Austin and I had planned to go skype home and talk with family on this beautiful holiday since neither of us had yet but then....the doorbell rang!...Please tell me why were the first thoughts in my head, oh no, we're gonna have to entertain someone and I won't be able to skype home! And I found myself a little frustrated for 1 minute!

Then our African brother Jack from Nigeria rolled in and kinda explained he was having a bad night and was just walking around because all His friends wanted Him to go to a club but he thought it would be a better idea not to go...so stopped by here hoping to be encouraged and lifted up by his family! So in these quick seconds a lot went through my head saying....cool glad you came but I have plans to skype my family to say Merry Christmas! Then I said to myself WHO THE HECK ARE YOU and WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??? Have you forgotten all the Lord has taught you?!?! God called you here...not to still be daydreaming and to be at home in your head and wishing you were there.....he brought me here to LOVE the people in this place and even in this very moment!

Then a couple verses came to mind! One in Matthew 10:34-39 (alfjadfaodfijasodfiajdfoasjdfoj) I love my family dearly, praying for them daily, loving them more than I could express and they know this! But...the fact still remains I LOVE my Lord more than them! I Love Him with a deeper Love that no words or actions could express! So I must try by choosing His people He placed me amongst rather than wishing I was in another place! Then the verse in Luke 9:62 where He says "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God"....God has told me to go and I accepted so the decision was already made and I am plowing forward...so DO NOT look back and be sad or worried about Home when you have brothers and sisters right here to speak life into and celebrate God's birth and promises to us! AMEN!!!

It was a happy and beautiful evening...we ended up all praising the Lord in song and had such an amazing night of worship together celebrated God's goodness on His birth! J
Don't be sad back home I am having a beautiful and wonderful holiday here! LOVE you all VERY MUCH!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all and to all a GOODNIGHT!!!

Sister Remember You have been REDEEMED!!!

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

HaPpY Birthday SiSaRoo!!!

SORRY this is late oh and there will be a video of how it goes...as soon as i get over my cold!!!

sister...you are sooo beautiful in both ways, inside you are full of joy and lov and compassion! You have overcome so much in your life and still have become an amazing woman. Danielle I wish I had words to tell you what it is exactly that God has planned for you and your family....but those you will discover as you grow, and live, and learn to be what andwho it is God has in mind for you! You have such a powerful testimony sister! USE IT! Really God wants you to use it, H wants you to have faith in Him and trust He will guide your words and your steps....you just have to keep opening your mouth and taking those steps! I just sit here on your birthday in TURKEY sad because I can't call you because we're on the internet fast and sad because I cant see you!! I am wondering what Maurice got or did for you, and what He had the girls get you or even what tons of things mom got and said Jayla and Ayana helped pick them out! Haha BUT most of all I sit here and think of how truly blessed I am to have you as my sister! I am blessed to have you because of who you are and have become and because I know you truly love me! I know we have both been through some crazy stuff but were there for eachother through it all! There is a bong with you that I share with no one else and I NEVER will because throuh the fighting of people we stuck by eachother's side through our mistakes, through the distance, and through it all we were and always will be by eachother's side! Thats not always true for sisters but as for you and me....I only see us get closer and deeper as the years get tacked onto our lives!..... Now.... I know my life is CRAZY sis, how I am never home with you guys really and if I am its only for a little while and I know you wish it could be all the time I would live right down the road and I know maurice is ready for me to move in...haha jk.....but really sister you and I both know I can't stay in one place for to long because I get a little ancy for what it is GOD has in store for me next! But just keep the prayers a comin so I get to make it back home for visits...because you know I wouldn't be doing any of it unless it was In God's will!!! Thank you for your 27 years of life...your 27 years of sister advice and 27 years of amazing LOVE to your dear lil sissy!!! and thank you for being an amazing woman of God to take care of and build up my bro and nieces!!!! I LOVE YOU SISTER!!!! LOVE - me - lil sis

- this is the song I wrote for you for your birthday! These are the lyrics so as you watch the video read along! I love you sister and I am praying for you constantly!!!! :-)))

Remember You have been Redeemed
Remember Where we used to live
Remember How I was afraid of the storms
Remember you told me to climb in bed with you...

Chorus: You looked like you could handle anything
But every night you cry yourself to sleep
You thought time could heal everything
But now you can say you have been redeemed!
But now you can say you have been redeemed!

Remember those endless nights
Remember how we would drown out the pain
Remember how you could talk me through anything

Chorus

Now you're the beauty of Christ
Now you're creating a love so deep
Now you're the strength that your family needs...

You looked like you could handle anything
But every night you pray yourself to sleep
You know God can heal everything
So now you can say I have been redeemed!
So now you can say I have been redeemed!
So now you can say, "I HAVE BEEN REDEEMED!!!"

Now what?......I was Created to Worship!!!

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritualact of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:1-2

This verse is so true in how it states we have to be transformed in our minds not just in our actions! There can be no transformation in my life without a past transformation in my head. In this verse it talks about renewing your mind....which is also the truest statement ....there is no transformation without a total renewing of my mind! The renewing of our minds must be a constant in our lives! We all have thoughts that come in our heads of course all day long...but are they worthy of praise? More than that I have been going through a battle in my head of choosing to grow choosing not to keep looking back, sometimes the things of the past seem so much better, they are comfortable and they are what we know is there...whether we truly know God has something soooo much better for us whatever that may be in whatever form!.....I really wish I could express of how much the battle is in my head! It's a struggle I am sure a lot of you can relate to, now whether I wanna talk about that struggle on here I don't know I might we'll see! Haha J It's the battle that comes when you are trying to do something right! When you want sooooo badly with all of you and you feel you need to do it the wrong thing I guess you could say, so in my head I think I want it I need it I have to do it but also in my head I KNOW that this is NOT what God wants from me! He has something so much better in mind! It is the biggest and hardest struggle I have ever gone through! And the HARDEST part of it all is making that decision to choose Christ over whatever IT is for you! My Bible actually says "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by CHANGING the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect!" So to me, if I keep choosing to renew my thoughts every time they are not praiseworthy, then I will KNOW God's will for me!

Then in Hebrew 9:13-14 and 10:22 it explains of how the sacrifices used to take place and why they had to happen and then how Christ blood being sacrificed for us renewed and cleansed our consciences and minds! My sister Aubrey let me read a sermon she got and this has a good way of putting it....."Conscience is to my life what an engine is to a car. Pr. 23:7 says, "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." So when the Bible says that the blood of Jesus cleanses my conscience, it would mean that God is not after my outward performance. Christianity was never meant to be a performance. He is after my inner conscience! And without the blood my conscience is defiled. If my conscience is defiled, then my behavior will follow. Sin affects our conscience. Conscience affects our behavior- always."

I have had to do A LOT of choosing lately, choosing that I want our family to still work without my sister Aubrey and choosing to not let my thoughts be consumed with thoughts my future life, family and husband, and choosing not to think of a past relationship and missing them, and choosing Christ over myself every single stinkinmorning! And I find myself in a battle every time I go to make these decisions! Then I get more mad because I feel I should be able to make these decisions....why the heck cant I choose right from wrong, I have been making these choices since I was little...which goes into a of other things of conditions of how the society we grew up in influences every decision we make, but besides that WHY can't I just get over myself and choose CHRIST!!!

I have been thinking a lot lately.... obviously and today I was sitting out in the dessert alone just soaking in the sun and God and as I was out there I was also hoping camels aren't like bulls and like charging because there were 4 walking right in my direction...lol...but anyways I was just wondering around and asking God what do I do NOW???....I mean I have been growing and actually really trying at least to live out what it means to really be a Christian...live out what it says to actually do in the bible for about 2 years now instead of just saying I was a Christian and everynow and again do something that makes me feel good about my life! Now I made a lot of mistakes in those two years don't get me wrong but I said TRYING... And Now Lord this all seems normal....It's so awesome that I am still learning community and still yearning for more of Him every day and knowing that I need to grow A LOT in many areas but now again it's just making that choice to change the way I even think about things! But yet I just want to keep growing...I never want to stop...There is no place that is deep enough with the Lord...I am and want to be always wanting to grow deeper with Him! So anyways I just sat out there for a LOOOONG time in silence leaving my bible journal and ipod behind so I could just listen! Then I was reminded of a song that played during our hour of prayer yesterday! It's called created to worship by Rita Springer!

I am your sacrifice
I am your offering
I was created to worship you
There's nothing I could bring
That would mean more then this one thing
I was created to worship you.

You are all I have
All I have is you
You are all I am
All I am is you

Whatever you ask of me
There's no one I'd rather be
Then one created to worship you
In all that comes my way
Poverty fame or pain
I was created to worship you

Without you there's nothing Lord
Now and forevermore
I was created to worship you

This reminded me of this very thing! All I could try to do, all I could bring to Him, all the yearning in me to grow is awesome but sometimes we get so caught up in wanting to grow more and more and more (well at least I do) that I forget this simple fact.....I was created to WORSHIP God!!!! The rest will come!....the depth in my relationship with Him will grow automatically once I realize just worshiping Our mighty God is what truly matters! Love our God and Love His people! AMEN!!!

Love you guys sooooo much - Thank you for all your prayers! REALLY thank YOU!!!! I still need them! - mOn

Happy Birthday DADDY!!!

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I LOVE YOU DADDY-O!!!!!!!!!! happy BIRTHDAY!!! ---- i HOPE you have an amazing day! SHALOM!!! :-)

Daily life in Israel P.1 B&M show!!!

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

heyyyy guys this is brittany lee grant and I just telling you about some of our adventures we had today and get to have while being here in Jerusalem!....We are going to...." O little town of Bethlehem".....haha.... tomorrow....soooo excited! Love you all and keep us in your prayers! love - mon

Shout OUT the Promises!!!

Mon, 9 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then there was no need for Christ to die......... Galatians 2:20-21

(my memory verse for the week) :-)

Really I need to get over myself......Maybe once I really realize that it's not me by myself that can do this and I need His help then I will be able too! There are so many times already on this race I have said and still keep saying I wanna be different ....I know that God has amazing things in for my life, He is just waiting on me to give it up!...More than that...I just feel God has poured an anointing over my life, I have been called to so much more than just doing the right thing happy little Christian, and I would explain more but I don't know how to get across to you the calling I know God has put on my life! So all this to say lately I have been feeling this more than ever! Feeling that every morning I need to be waking up choosing Christ over myself that day...and waking up asking for a refreshing of HIM on me everyday! "So just as new life came in as Maurice and Danielle birthed my new niece Ayana Jade God is birthing new life in me and taking me to a place where I have never been....How to explain all this in words I can't but I know God is working up amazing things".....

Strengthening ourselves in Christ is the only way to stay on target, the only way to wake up refreshed, to wake up choosing the Lord over yourself! There are many days of this race...I get down, days that are just off...I just get in a funk and for no reason at all! Even on those days I want and am going to Force my soul to praise the Lord! Just like in Psalm 103 when David is telling the angels, all He has created, and all His Kingdom to Praise the Lord...then at the end He says...Let all I AM PRAISE The Lord....He DEMANDS that through everything His soul is going to PRAISE the Lord!!! This is something that gets me back on track! It's all gravy sometimes...to have to be "in the mood" to read your bible, or sing praises to Him, or do nice things for people...and if you're not in the mood then you are doing it out of vain conceit or for show...but Honestly some of my best prayer, bible reading, praise times on this trip have been when I forced myself into that time with the Lord....because for myself its building discipline in me!

But also on these days I have learned that even when I feel defeated on that day...as soon as I shout out the promises God has made in my life and promises of Himself....Even if I don't believe them as I am shouting them out, it releases the hold Satan has on me...Guys - news flash for real - Satan wants every opportunity to keep us down and out...ans especially when we are striving for MORE!!! I found myself the other day speaking out promises....I was in the girl's bedroom by myself which does not get to happen often (still love you girls) ;-) feeling alone and defeated at the End of an unproductive day, I thought... and I thought to myself NOOOO I am NOT letting Satan have one dang foot hold in my life! soooo I started speaking out-LOUD the promises....I am loved, I am a beautiful daughter of the KING of Kings, I am intelligent, He IS faithful, and He will NEVER leave me or forsake me even when I am a jerk!.... and then kinda chuckled at myself closed my journal And then went to bed and woke up refreshed and with new insights for the day!

Every time I feel Satan trying to overtake me in this sense ...I HAVE to choose to TRUST in my God!!!

My thoughts are soooo sporadic, I know comes as a suprise to you....haha....but a word that keeps getting expressed to me is REST!!! So for no w...because this is long and its to late I am going to just leave you with what I am doing....Resting in the Promises of Who God is to me!!! and of what HE has done For me!!! Good night!!!

love you guys so much! and thanks for your prayers so much! Please be sure to pray for refreshness over me and for new revelations Of who God is to me....things are trying to come and steal my strength and joy but I will NOT let it happen!!!

love - mon

CHANGES!!!

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The past few days have been full of change and growth and just trusting in God! WoW....I really knew coming into this debrief time that there would be changes But I didnt know what.....and I knew that God was wanting me to give up more and just know that He had more in store for me in my life! So I was coming into this expecting change and expecting to hear more!

We Got into Istanbul Wednesday the 28th and met all the rest of our squad at this hostel where we would be staying. It was a great time of reunion! But once we were together, it was not a united family in J Squad that came together....it was a bunch of different little teams coming together for a weekend hang out! We Found out after a couple of days that ours would be changing....some of them they said they did not feel like changing but they knew it was what God wanted done and what would bring more Glory to Him! Which was very nerve wrecking to know something was changing all up! Our Team Triumph was soooo close and ready and learning to grow...but God wanted something to change He wanted us to get out of this wonderful comfort that we so often fell into. Miss Aubrey Alyssa Rainbow was removed from team Triumph....yes my dear sister was leaving me and I would not be spending the rest of the year day in and day out with her! This was soooo hard to come to terms with.....We have truly become SOooo close! We talk about all our everything together....girl talk and deep spiritual talks!....and not to mention our spooning moments (its ok we're girls ;-) haha) But Miss Aubrey and I had a huge talk about everything and although I know it is hard for her too....We saw all the ways God made this happen and all definite positives that would make both of us grow individually and make our new teams grow tremendously! She is strong amazing woman of God!......we laughed together, cried together, did so much but now I have an accountability partner that is not on my team and HEY look at it on the bright side....I will be much more excited for debriefs now! :-))))

God is making CHANGES everywhere....The Chrisitian students in Albania we hung out with and got really close to get to struggle with being first generation Christians....God is moving BIG and changes things even in Albania..... :-) A Word of Wisdom from Miss Aubrey Rainbow......

I asked a few different people how they felt about being a part of the first generation of Christians in Albania and the most common response I got surrounded how honored they felt that God has chosen them to lay the foundation of faith for their country.
They'll also tell you that it's one of the hardest things about being a Christian in Albania... because they don't have an older, wiser generation to pass down scriptural wisdom and knowledge to them. They don't have mentors or guides in their quest to get closer to God. But instead of this being a discouragement I saw it making them more determined to grow... more determined to lay the foundation on rocks that will remain for generations and generations of believers to come.

Yet they're also proof that time is pretty irrelevant to God and to a relationship with Him. Time and time again these new believers floored me with their understanding of the Kingdom and the purity of their thoughts and intentions towards God and his people.

I was hanging out with a group of the college students the night before we left playing a game where you light a match, pass it around the circle, and whoever the match goes out on has to answer whatever question the group wants to ask. We had been playing for hours, really getting to know each other through some personal questions, and I decided to ask one of the Albanian guys if he could go back in his life and change anything what would it be. (I can't say I was expecting much more than the typical "Nothing, because everything I've gone through has made me who I am today" type of answer... but that's not at all what I got). He answered that he would have accepted Christ sooner than three years ago, because if he had been a Christian back in his hometown growing up a lot of his friends were young and impressionable then and he could have helped lead them to Christ. I've been thinking about that response a lot. About how so many believers in America have made heaven the goal... when heaven isn't the goal at all. Being more and more like Christ is the goal, and being like Christ means seeking to save the lost. The journey isn't over when we accept Christ. The goal hasn't been met. Instead that's really where the race begins, because we're only ever stewards of God's gifts. So if salvation is a gift that's been freely given to us and freely received by us, then it also needs to be continuously passed on to those God places in our lives.

Well put sista.....So anyways....I have been growing tremendously! Man God is helping me in many ways to step up into the Woman of God I am to be! I am in the process of writing a blog about all the things I am learning....I will get it out as soon as I am able! I love you all so much and really do thank you for all your prayers! This is a time of much needed prayers....I am in an amazing place growing spiritually and just into a deeper relationship with God.....and so this is the time that the devil is going to start throwing things at me left and right....I already see things that could totally get me not truly wanting more of Christ and off in some la la land somewhere!....so anyways I love you all and thanks for everything!

love - mon :-))

Update on what to say for Holy Lands!!!

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

My teammate Priscilla wrote this out and I thought "Oh what a good Idea!!!" haha so I am just adding it so you all can get a good idea of what to do for these next few months! So anyways hope all is well and Know I will be putting my last blog up from Albania in the next couple of days!!! OHHH and my sister's water just broke soooo baby Ayana.....is coming soon!!!! :-))))

Dear friends and family,

We've arrived in Istanbul, Turkey for several days of debrief with our entire squad. In a couple days, we will be flying to Israel.

I just wanted to post a quick reminder to be careful what you write in the next couple of months as we will be traveling and sharing in countries unfriendly to G-d lovers. I will also be sharing general information to protect our contacts and may have limited internet and blogging time.

A few suggestions...

"G-d" or "Father" or "Dad" for the one we worship.
"thinking" for talking to "Dad"
"sharing" for the work that we are doing in these countries

Thank you for being mindful of the safety of our contacts and of my team!
Thank you for your "thoughts" on our behalf! Please continue to "intervene" for us as we enter these challenging places.

love you guys sooooo much......mon

Is this ReAlLy MY Life?!?!?!....!!!

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Oh my goodness.....where to start?!?!?!
This has been a GREAT month! It did start off really hard and just challenging in many ways! We faced a lot of things that just seemed to be pulling our team apart and challenging each of us spiritually after coming from a real HIGH at the awakening.....but Our team pulled through tho and got a reboost......... I guess I'll call it! We learned that there were 2 things that team Triumph needs to function and really feel like a family and act like it! Um so....these are definitely our hour of prayer in the morning! This is usually prayer for the city where we are and this is also for ourselves, our families and friends back home, our team, our squad, and whatever comes in our heads during that time! And we need to eat together as a family sitting around a table and laughing, sharing stories from the day, and eating a good meal together! This is one thing my family never did growing up, so I was able to appreciate it that much more and was able to see us truly grow closer together from sitting around a table eating each meal together!!! :-)

There have been soooo many times throughout these passed 3 months that I have asked myself this question..................

Is this REALLY My LiFe?????.....here are some examples!!!!!!

Brittany and I went to the market to get ingredients to make chocolate chips cookies but when we got there and there was about 20 different bags of white powder.....so britt went through and was testing all of them and no one spoke english sooo we were going nuts and didnt know what to do! then an American lady came in which worked at the US Embassy and she just so happened to be the best baker and cook besides my grandma I guess!!! So she said in no other circumstance should we do this but asked if we wanted to just go with her to her house and she ended up baking chocolate chip cookies for our team! and she told us we would never have found what we needed to bake them! haha sooo this was just crazy! But she wasnt a believer so we got to just pray over her house! This was just crazy going to some random lady's house and eating and all this! haha!
The mountains on the way to Elbasani on a day to help put up posters for the Josh McDowell conference....they were so beautiful I started to cry! this picture does nooooo justice!!!
I have amazng ssters here on the race!!!!

We were in and a part of the biggest Christian conference that Albania has had! We got to be a part in the skit they had, we were back up dancers and singers for a famous Albanian Christian singer! I mean really when does this happen! Oh and We were in Albania....I never even used to know where this was!!! Crazy Life!

It so hard here on the race only being in a country a month.....I get attached to people very quickly! and really long to know them! i mean I really really want to know these people we are traveling and meeting each month! I knew it would be a hard thing and I have said it before but it just never gets easy to leave the people you have come to love sooo much! In Ireland we left a church, Romania we left a family, and in Albania we had to leave our friends! I will miss them so much! I really got closed to Alma Shaipai....she is 25 years old and is a first generation Christian in her family like most Christians my age in Albania! She led all her sisters to Christ and her parents have not come to Know the Lord at all and so we have been praying for her parents together and just really got deep with eachother.....she really is an amazing Woman of God....and needs your prayers for her as well! I only have this photo with a bunch of us girls, her, and the other Alma!

Anyways all that to say God is doing soooo much!!! No surprises there really! haha! I will be able to write an actual heart felt blog...and take some time tomorrow, I hope, about what changes have been made on our squad! Its been some crazy stuff but I know and trust God knows what will bring Him more Glory! love you all so much! Please pray for continued Peace and Unity for our new teams and Squad! OH and My niece Ayana Jade Turentine was born October 29,2009 at 3:20pm 6lbs 15oz and 20.5 inches long! :-)))) love you all so much thanks for all the prayers my family is very appreciative!!!!

love - mon

Red always wins by a teammate!!!

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Heyyyy guys....I have been quite the busy little lady so havent had time to post much at all! but I will definitely be posting another blog soon, one is in the works! :-) But Right now my sister Aubrey has had some amazing thoughts about things that have been happening to us here! So I just wanted you guys to get a chance to read something from one of my team members! Hey also PLEASE be in prayer about my sister and baby Ayana in her tummy...she is due October 27th but who knows when she'll come, I just ask for great health for my sister and the baby but please just remember Danielle, Maurice, Jayla, and baby Ayana in your prayers! thanks so much! love you guys and you will hear from me sooooon! PROMISE! ;-)

Wonderful words of Wisdom from Aubrey Rainbow..........

When you're hot on the trail of something great for God's kingdom then the opposition always tries it's best to thwart your efforts.

We've been feeling a lot of that this month.

The very things we came into this month saying we were determined to work on and improve are the very areas where we've been attacked as a team.

Then there's also our sleep. People have been having dreams of death, talking in their sleep, or just not sleeping soundly. Personally I've been sleeping great but never feeling rested.

Last night Sammy brought up having some pretty intense dreams about dying and we all came to the conclusion that we needed to do some battle in prayer for our time in sleep. For whatever reason that didn't exactly happen and I woke up really early in the morning with the instant thought in my head of "Oh crap, we didn't pray last night about people's sleep."

I was immediately restless and knew that there wasn't any way I was going back to sleep. So I gathered up my Bible, journal, and IPod and went outside to the garage and got on my face in prayer. I prayed for peace, for rest, for protection, and for anything else in opposition of what the enemy has been trying to do to our family to distract us from our goal here.

As I was in prayer I got the vivid image of a checker board in my mind.

As Christians we're the red pieces, covered in Christ's blood. It's our goal to battle through the obstacles of a fallen creation (the black pieces, or efforts of Satan) to reach a place where we receive our kingship. Once we receive our kingship the game isn't over, the goal hasn't been accomplished. Instead we're to immediately return to the battlefield and continue the fight against the opposition. Only after we've received the status of Kings in His Kingdom is our reign and authority expanded to allow us greater range of movement and thus greater influence.

At the same time we can't leave where we've come from unprotected either... because just when we think we're gaining ground Satan can work his way into those places and we quickly find his power expanding as well.

The best part of the game though is that we've already won. Actually, He's already won and through his grace he's extended that victory to all of us who are willing to call on the name of his son. It's our job to set aside our own routes and goals and make the moves he's planned in advance for us, to move according to his will. It's our job to be obedient to the one whose hand moves every piece on the board.

It's when we do that, in complete cooperation with God's hand and the other pieces he's placed in our lives (on our boards)for this season, that victory comes quickly.

All this to say I'm ready and willing to be moved by His hand. I'm ready to jump the obstacles he's putting in the way of my team and take them off the playing board. I'm ready to declare the victory that has already been won and rejoice in His glory and kingship. But you can help too. By partnering in prayer with those of us serving here in Albania you can be a piece on the board aiding in victory.

Please pray for peace, for restful sleep, for Godly dreams, for the initiative to move forward, and for His blessings as we do so. And remember to always rejoice with us because at the end of the day one thing remains... red always wins.

Thank you! Some Updates....!!!!

Thu, 1 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Well well well.....sorry first off...I want to apologize because I didn't think it would be so hard to keep up with blogs because of no internet and having to borrow others' computers, but it's just been a little crazy! I am soooo sorry!!! I mean that with all sincerity! I am so glad you are taking time to read the ones I do put up! Thank you!

Second off I want to thank you all for your prayers! I mean really....SERIOUSLY with everything My team and I thank you guys! We have felt them and truly no everyone of them have been needed! J thanks again! Oh and since we are on the topic of prayer....I would like to know things back home I can be in prayer for...my team and I are lifting up prayers for our family and friends everyday so please please please tell me what we can pray for!

The ministry month in Romania was amazing! I miss them so much already....that's something I knew I would have to just deal with I guess, is just getting attached to the people we live with and then just saying goodbye and not knowing if I will ever see them again! So as usual I was the first to start the tears to fall and then all of us got going. But ya know I want it to be that way everywhere we go. I think it would probably feel like a worthless month if I built no relationships and didn't cry. In Romania it became a month of prayer pretty much for the village we lived in. So it was our first month to raise the dead! J We decided we were going to be that our team would have the faith and it would happen! So there was a little boy named Gabby and when we first got there He was lifeless...He didn't smile one bit...and this was so sad for a 4 year old to act this way! So a couple of my teammates started praying over Him when we were playing soccer(football) with them ....we left that afternoon and returned that evening to this boy running and jumping in our arms laughing hysterically and running around chasing chickens! God is Soooo GOOD!!! So we did raise this dead lifeless joyless boy into a full of Joy exuberant 4 year old little boy!
So Right now we are in Tirana, Albania! It's crazy because we definitely thought we would be in Egypt this month when we started but I am sooo glad we are here! That's one thing we learned that we definitely had to give up was our expectations of where we were going and what the route would actually look like! It has been a crazy week that's behind us now! But after almost 70 hours of travel from Brasov, Romania to Tirana, Albania. 3 train rides and 1 bus later we are here. We stopped in Serbia and Macedonia on the way! This picture is of Sam and I sleeping on one of the train rides over night....well obviously in the morning, but still it was quite an adventure, which is why I signed up for this trip right! J So we got into Tirana at 1 am and of course everything is closed and our team was more than happy to just sleep in anywhere, so we did! We got there thanked God for getting us here and with a CRAZY driver and then lugged all of our bags in between two trees and we laid out our sleeping pads and bags and went to sleep! Oh and The amazing Men ofGod we have on our two teams did shifts of watches all through the night to make sure we were safe....just as a side note I tell you what....and all my girls on my team will agree...we have some truly amazing MEN on our team...the awesome part is they were already true Men of God before this trip but now they are just building off of that foundation! It is so good to have two amazing brothers all the time by our sides, I love them so much! J ANYWAYS....we woke up and had all come to terms that we would spend about a week in the park, I was ok with it really. So then we started praying and worshipping in a park...and during this a man came and brought a couple of people to a hostel to look at rates for us which happen ;-) to be right across the street from the campus crusade building soooo they stopped in there and these people were amazing! They could not believe we slept in the park and now we are staying in the basement of a family that works there sleeping in beds! YEAH you heard it right! BEDS! We were jumping around being sooo giddy about it because this is the first bed we have had since before we left home!

SOOOO....all that to say God had it all planned out from the beginning which we knew but it is so good to see everything just flow together and make sense! Man He is sooo GOOD! Our goal while we are here is to set up new contact opportunities for AIM to send new world racers! We have already found about 5 contacts and are still scoping out several more. So this month will be a lot of getting out on our own initiative and getting things done, because there are so many opportunities! J So in that please pray for energy when we wake up and throughout the day to not become lazy but truly diving into every minute God has ready for us!

I have been learning sooo much! At the awakening, the 4 day conference we had in Romania for all the world race squads was amazing!!! Really I learned a lot about myself...One thing was just remembering that HE is the Word and I am the VOICE!!!....We are if we choose to be God on Earth!....we carry the DNA of God in us! :-) And I have so many thoughts about this but I really dont have time....surprise surprise! Anyways Thank you all for prayers and I will try to get another update up soon! :-))) love you guys - Mon

Be Still My Soul, Be Still!!!

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Ok So I am learning many things right now!!! Two specifics I would like to share! Now I am not a great Preacha Man like my brother Austin..., so I don't know if I will be able to tie them together for you but just try following me and I will do my best! :-) Ya'll know me! :-) haha

Well about 1 year ago I fell in love with God! Seriously though!!! I really did and it's hard to explain but for once it wasn't just something I did because it says we are suppose to in the Bible but I actually did! My ex-fiance and I called the wedding off, and although it hurt so bad to know that I wouldn't be with this wonderful man I loved and wanted to marry, I was ok because God gave me an amazing peace that was only possible in that moment from Him! He had different plans for both of us! Which was really scary but so freeing knowing that this time I was actually giving my life to the Lord! I decided to Press on and really love My God with ALL of me, not just the parts I wasn't giving to another man!

So all this to say I truly fell in love with God! The feelings I got from His love was way Better than any first KISS, first, "I love you", first "i do", or anything I could have recieved from a man! Really I even got so gitty like those first dates do!

Next part - STAY WITH ME HERE!

sO Before I left Ireland I sent postcards to some of my family ....one of them was to my wonderful momma jean!!!....haha (No really mom thank me later!) haha :-) But at the end of it I wrote a note to her saying....please PRAY that I continue falling in LOVE with Jesus....more in love with Him! In that meant that I don't want to fall out of love ever!!! i only want to keep growing into a more intimate relationship with Him! But because the Lord has truly BLESSED me with a momma who will truly tell me what she thinks, which is good (most of the time ;-) She wrote me an email in it she said, " Monica, You DO LOVE God, I know this, you're in love with Him already!! What I believe is that you need to know more about Him....You need to read more of His word, You need to dig into the Bible." Thank you so much mother!

Ok so you know how sometimes daughters don't take things right away....well thats my problem - ONE OF THEM - and I just blew it off first thinking, "Man trying to tell me what I need and all that..." haha, actually She was speaking from what God had laid on her heart to tell me! And Boy was it what I needed to here!

After thinking overnight about it....that next morning in prayer God kept replaying those words in my head! And after prayer time ( we have for this village and other things everyday ) - I shared with the group what God had to me!

To me through my mother He said..." You love me yes, I know, see and feel that from you Monica, but you dont even know me! " Which made me think clearly seeing that I am not in His word enough earnestly searching for Him, just like the scripture said I memorized a couple weeks ago! Psalm63!

This also made me see, something else! You see for about a year now I have been asking God to give me wisdom when I read His word! Because most times I feel like a dummy and dont understand the things I am reading or what it means for me! But I still have been feeling this way til recently in the last couple of days when I actually am diving into it! This is hard for me because I want it all right now! I want to be in love deeply with the Lord, I want to speak BOLDLY of Him, I want to PRAISE Him confidently in singing, I want all these things...and I would like to have them now!

My SOUL is restless, and constantly thinking, moving, and wanting more! Not knowing what I want and not being satisfied with Who I am! My mind is a crazy thing....its hard for me to try to explain it to you! But through all this and many amazing talks with my teammates I am realizing it is a process and I can never get there...or BE THERE!!! I will always want more and to be deeper with Him!!! We should always want more of Him and always strive for it!!!!

Sorry it was sooooo long but I had a lot to update on! love you all thanks for prayers! Don't FORGET PLEASE KEEP Praying!!!!! The pictures throughout this blog are different things we are doing in our ministries here! These are beautiful people and I ask you include them in your prayers also! I will blog more when I can! thanks so much for everything!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - oh and go to my teammates blog austinanglea.theworldrace.org for some videos....a really funny is there check it out! :-)

THANKS FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES.......I had a wonderful birthday here is Romania...My team made it wonderful and even our host family made a cake soooooo delicious!!!! love you guys sooooo much!!!! - Mon

Truly Learning to walk in His Grace!!!

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Where to even begin!.....This has already been an amazing few days! I am learning soooo much! So I have been here for a little over 2 weeks now! And the first week was more training in Dublin which was definitely needed...and now we Are in Galway, Ireland...camping right off the west coast at least I think its west I havent really looked at a map but we are literally 5 steps from the ocean so as you can imagine the wind and rain have been quite a brewin here! haha This is our little tent community which is quite fun! Mine is the bright yellow one to the left if you can find it! :-))

Anyways.....So when I first got here I was excited but not to the extent I should have been to be doing what I am doing! ya know! But as I started to open up again and tell people my fears and thoughts and what was going on in my head that is when things started being released! I realized that I had to enter into this race covered by this Grace we get and I do NOT deserve! Things happened before I left and just made me question if I wAs truly ready for this....and then I realized that those were thoughts that the devil was putting in my head that I was allowing to stay! So I came and within the first couple days God totally broke me again and helped me to understand that the things I knew were my strengths and gifts from God were still the same now as they were before no matter what I did or how much I didnt deserve them! And It really made me realize that I am so glad to be at the place I am at right now! Not married, no kids, no plans really! Just letting God seriously take over! A couple people prayed over me and the things they said about me which made me smile even more was that my JOY would be the back bone of my team and my smile would make miracles happen as I entered into the cities where we were going! OH did I mention that I LOVE my team! :-)) Team TRIUMPH!!!

Right now we are each memorizing a bit of scripture a week! So this is awesome! I am memorizing this one!.......

¹ O God, you are my God;
      I earnestly search for you.
   My soul thirsts for you;
      my whole body longs for you
   in this parched and weary land
      where there is no water.
² I have seen you in your sanctuary
      and gazed upon your power and glory.
³ Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
      how I praise you!
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
      lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
⁵ You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
      I will praise you with songs of joy.

⁶ I lie awake thinking of you,
      meditating on you through the night.
⁷ Because you are my helper,
      I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
      your strong right hand holds me securely.

⁹ But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin.
      They will go down into the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will die by the sword
      and become the food of jackals.
¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God.
      All who trust in him will praise him,
      while liars will be silenced.

It's challenging but I picked one because this is my True thirst and longing for is to really KNOW Christ more! And to not be satisfied with the depth of growth I am at now! So On Sunday the pastor talked about how there were people that had some repetitive sins that kept coming up but they were gone and really going to be gone this time! and I truly felt a huge burden lift off of me. So that night I told my team about it and the whole story and all. So then The next night we were having prayer as we do everynight from 6-7 pm and a gentlemen named Godwen said he had a word from the Lord for me! He told me that there were things in my past I kept picking up and keeping on me, but not any longer! This was a REAL NEW Beginning! and I was truly going to accept God's grace and learned to walk in that! So Him and another guy prayed over me and It was just soooo good! Just That I was actually freed from the things I kept repeating and bringing back on myself! So in other words It was definitely God working on me! And He still is! We are having worship services every Tuesday and Thursday night! Which may I add are amazing! I truly am falling more in love with God and loving it! And everyday pretty much we are going out to do street evangelism which can be pretty scary but once you learn to get over yourself its soooo awesome to see the way God will work through you to bring more brothers and sisters to really know Him more! Oh this is my teammate brittany and I right next to where we are staying! Isnt it just BEAUTIFUL!!!

So anyways I have to go....it is time for prayer from 6-7 tonight so I must go! But PLEASE as you continue praying for me remember to pray for an increasing in finances! I am doing good but still in need of $3,700 more! So that And also that I would not become satisfied! That I would keep growing more and more in love with our amazing CREATOR and truly learn to get over myself and put His wants and needs for others to see the Kingdom FIRST!!!!!! LOVE YOU ALL - Mon

Livin it up in IRELAND!!!

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

We're here!

I am safe here in ireland! :) iTs beautiful but yes a little rainy! We are camping out for a week with the other squad here also to do some training for a week! Soooo excited....missed all my teammates and now I AM with them for a year!!! Its been sooo good! Today we went out into town in Dublin and did a scavenger hunt race against all the other teams and we didnt win but I definitely think we would have if we knew the route of the dublin buses! It was soooo good though! We laughed A LOT!!! but it was very tiring because we just got here today and we had jet lag and just all that!

So this week We are camping at a park all 83 of us and then our squads split and We head to Galway on Monday!!! To do some more camping! But the funny thing about that is...right now I am sleeping in BRITTANY's tent with her because my bag never made it to JFK therefore it didnt make it to here Ireland! But I am surrounded by such a loving woldrace family that I think I will be able to sleep well tonight! and not freeze :-)))) So anyways I am sooooo tired right now and so i am going to head to bed! love you all and i WILL update again longer soon! - mon :))

My New WorldRace Family!!!

Mon, 8 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

TeamTriumph
Psalms 25

Sam Mongonia, Brittany Grant, Brenda Benson, Austin Anglea, Monica (ME), Aubrey Rainbrow, and Priscilla Cheng

This is my family for the next year and I love love love them!!! We all have so many different ideas attitudes and personalities we bring the table! Yes there will be times when we are going to have conflict and times when our own selfishness is going to confront us right in our faces! We know this but we are willing and ready to work through all of it! At camp we went through many different scenarios for the staff to choose who would be on each team! It was quite a process and I will admit I did get a little nervous a couple of times, but I am REALLY Greatful of the team that turned out!

For the next year we will be living and learning, real community as we go! This is going to be an amazing opportunity because here in the united states we think we have a community around us....but come lets admit it, some of us dont even know our neighbors names, and if we do know that much we dont ever do anything with them except say hi or wave as we drive down the road!

COMMUNITY: a unified body of individuals!

That is the websters definition of community! Which is pretty truthful but when you go deeper in that as in, living exactly what unified means...it can be a hard thing when you actually try to live it out! There is going to be a lot of us living and working with eachother for a year...in the good, bad, and ugly!

Acts 4:23-37..... well actually just read all of 4 its all good stuff! After reading this, it really makes me think....as in WHY in the world do we not live this way today! Its definitely possible...we just live in a society that teaches us to think of only ourselves and our stuff and not hardly about those around us!

This is the J squad....

- Not gonna name everyone off! That might be a little long of a list!!! haha but I love em all the same! One of the days at camp we had a man named Ben speak, well he actually spoke a lot...which is a GOOD thing! But anyways one night He spoke about how we should be living unconcealed lives! And This has been a goal of mine for awhile now!....and to tell you how I am doing on that! Well.....lets just say I am trying! My roommate Christy and I are really trying to actually live this out! Its very hard we are finding out because neither of us like confrontation! But we are realizing too that we have to just get over ourselves! Its hard because we grew up in a nation which is a lot of me, me, me! And even though I think I do pretty good in not making it about me....thats the first clue to knowing I really am selfish! I am I will admit I am a selfish one, but I really am working on it! :-) So that would be an area that could use a lot of bathing in prayer for our whole team! I know that each of our selfishness will rare its evil head at many times on this trip! But the J Squad is SOLID!!! We are going to be and do amazing things!!! :-)

So anyways all of that to say I am exited for this next year to be living in REAL community!!! :-)) Please stay updated and see us go through every aspect of our good, bad, and ugly!!!

Love you guys - Mon

Thy will be done!!!

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

THE IDEAL MAN HAS NO DEEPER PRAYER THAN, "THY WILL BE DONE." IT IS THE TRUEST LANGUAGE OF HIS HEART. HE DOES NOT WANT A BED OF ROSES, OR HIS PATHWAY STREWN WITH FLOWERS. HE WANTS TO DO GOD'S WILL. HE DOES NOT WANT HEALTH OR WEALTH, NOR DOES HE COVET SICKNES OR POVERTY,- JUST WHAT GOD SENDS. HE DOES NOT WANT SUCCESS-EVEN SUCCESS IN WINNING SOULS-OR WANT OF SUCCESS. WHAT GOD WILLS FOR HIM, THAT IS ALL. HE DOES NOT WANT TO PROSPER IN BUSINESS, OR TO KEEP BARLEY STRUGGLING ON. GOD KNOWS WHAT IS BEST. HE DOES NOT WANT HIS FRIENDS TO LIVE, HIMSELF TO LIVE OR DIE. GOD'S WILL BE DONE. THE CURRENTS OF HIS LIFE FLOW FAR BELOW THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF THINGS. THERE IS A DEEPER PRINCIPLE IN IT THAN TO LIVE TO GRATIFY HIMSELF. AND SO HE SIMPLY ASKS, THAT IN THE ORDINARY ROUND OF HIS DAILY LIFE THERE MAY BE NO DESIRE OF HIS HEART MORE DEEP, MORE VIVID, MORE ABSORBINGLY PRESENT THAN THIS, "THY WILL BE DONE!" HE WHO MAKES THIS THE PRAYER OF HIS LIFE WILL KNOW THAT OF ALL PRAYERS IT IS THE MOST TRULY BLESSED, THE MOST NEARLY IN THE SPIRIT OF HIM WHO SOUGHT NOT HIS OWN WILL, BUT THE WILL OF HIM THAT SENT HIM. henry drummond

To truly say this prayer and mean every word of it!....We can say thy will be done and not mine but do we mean that? Really mean this with everything that is in us? Even when His will takes us down a path that is hard and means we will suffer on it?

In the past year I have grown so much! One thing that keeps coming up and I hear is, just bring Jesus in your life...say this prayer and your problems will go away...get right with God and everything will be ok great....you will get a job, you're friends will stop harrassing you, you will find that "special someone"...etc...but NO that is not what will happen! In every book of the new Testament there is at least one verse that talks about us suffering for Him...Are we ready to do that? Even if life doesnt turn out as hunky dory as we think it should be???? I dont want to just go to church and sing these catchy praise songs because it is what I think the Lord wants to hear from us! If You do NOT feel like raising your hands and calling out to Him then don't! He knows our hearts! And if we don't mean it when we say I am giving you my heart and all that is with in....then DON'T sing it! We have to watch our words! Seriously! We, even I do all the time take for granted Our God we serve! WE TALK TO MUCH! Think about every word you say before saying it to God! HE KNOWS YOUR HEART!!!

"As you enter the house of God, keep your ears open and your mouth shut. It is evil to make mindless offerings to God. Don't make rash promises, and don't be hasty in bringing matters before God. After all, God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few. Too much activity gives you restless dreams; too many words make you a fool.When you make a promise to God, don't delay in following through, for God takes no pleasure in fools. Keep all the promises you make to him. It is better to say nothing than to make a promise and not keep it. Don't let your mouth make you sin. And don't defend yourself by telling the Temple messenger that the promise you made was a mistake. That would make God angry, and he might wipe out everything you have achieved. Talk is cheap, like daydreams and other useless activities. Fear God instead."

Ecclesiastes 5:1-7

Love, Monica

Blinded by the radiating light!!!

Wed, 8 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Hey everybody sorry it has been awhile but I dont really have internet or enough time to get on here and write blogs! So anyways...Life is good! Only because God is SO good! Every situation I have seemed to get myself into lately He always has a way to turn it into good whether I see right away or not is ok because I know He will FIX it!!! :-)
Today I was on my way from my first job with the kids to the next at Wal-mart! I was listening to some new Shane & Shane music I just got and for months I have been singing a song I thought I made up which it is in a different tune but its basically identical to this song by them which is called "Your Grace Is Sufficient"...these are the words.......
Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect
When I am weak
And all that I cling to
I lay at Your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me

So This was just one of the many songs I was singing but it means sooo much to me! I really want to believe this with all my heart that His strength is made perfect when I am week! and all these things that I cling to or find as securities here on this earth that I can truly lay them at His feet knowing that His Grace is so amazing I have no need to worry about the things I have done or anything ya know! Music is what gets me, its beaks me, overjoys me, anything good it does that for me! But as I was sitting in the parking lot at Wal-Mart before going into work I was still singing another song called at your feet that was written by my friend Heidi! Here are the lyrics.............

As I approach The Throne where you are

I am stunned by your beauty

Your captivating light fills this place around me

How Holy

If I could just sit at your feet and sing

If I'm dying inside or if I'm alive I will sing

Blinded by the radiating light, I cover my eyes

You take my hands away from my face

So I cant see you

How beautiful

If I could just sit at your feet and sing

If I'm dying inside or if I'm alive I will sing

I will sing...I will sing...I will sing

That is one of my favorite worship songs...but I am not kidding you...As I sang this song in my car in the parking lot at wal-mart lookin like a crazy the sun started shining right upon me as in this picture to the right! I was soooo overjoyed I didnt want to go into work! So I just stayed a lil longer and worshipped some more which made me a lil late for work but lets see here worshipping God :)) or being on time to work...God definitely should have a bigger pull! I picture what every song says actually happening, so in this I was super excited to be sitting at His feet! But more so covering my eyes because the Sun was truly blinding me it was so bright! That day will come soon and I can't wait! I mean just think about it...seriously! We will get to see Him face to face...Our father who loves and adores us oh so much! Its just that I miss Him....I wanna sit on His lap and Him just hold me! :-))) that just makes me smile thinking about it! Anyways All that just to say that God is good!

So this World Race is coming up very soon! And I need my prayer partners to keep praying really hard! I truly need help meeting so goals for the money situation before I leave! I know God will make it happen though If He wants me to go! Ok So I guess I should do this more often...I will start to soon! love ya and hope you have a GREAT rest of the week! :-) I will leave you with this adorable picture of Aunt Monkey (me) teaching my beautiful niece Jayla how to climb a tree! :))

Get to know one my team members!!!

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Let me introduce you to one of my teammates! Check out why Martha wants to go on this trip by clicking on the following link and reading her article, How I was called to the Mission Field!

"Many people think the smart thing to do would be to get a job, start paying off my student loans, and begin to make a life for myself. But I would not be satisfied with that right now. I was blown away by what I read about of the World Race, knowing that it was a response to God's call in my life." - Martha Lemke

Martha has totally fallin in love with God and it is so awesome to see her passion as you read on in some of her blogs! It would be great for you to get to know Martha through her blog page and pray for her and the challenges she might face as she is getting ready to start out on this amazing journey! :-)

Expectations of My Trip!!!

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

We were asked to write a blog about how we felt before leaving on this mission trip. Here is what I am expecting...

Well I first of all expect my expectations to turn out totally different from what I thought they would be...haha...if that makes any sense! Anyways I am so excited about this trip because in so many ways I want and need to be more in love with Him than I am already! God has totally changed my life, my thoughts, my everything in the past 6 months! He has been using the things in life that I go through to shape me into another totally different person! I knew He had more planned for me then I was allowing Him to use me for...so I am going on this journey and expect God to use me in unimaginable ways to further His Kingdom!!! And a few quick thoughts as to what I will be expecting...

to really depend on God
God to prepare the way
stretched and challeged more than ever
grow deeper and deeper in my relationship with Him
see more of God's B-E-A-UTIFUL creation
meet people with some unbelievable faith
SCREAM my LOVE for Him on the top of mountain
sleep in peace knowing He is in control
to be broken
learn what real community is
to not WORRY
sing praises to God in different languages
Laugh uncontrollably with my team mates
try all kinds of crazy food [maybe even insects...haha :-)]
to REJOICE in the Lord always, in every circumstance we come too!
to fall more in LOVE <3 with God than ever before....

So those are my expectations but I truly just want to not know whats going to happen and I know thats what it will be...so anyways I am so excited to leave on this journey, to say goodbye to friends and family and I am ready to just GO......SEND ME!!!!

:-) :-) :-)

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again - rejoice!!! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do, Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don't Worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for ALL He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His Peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philipians 4:4-7

How I was called to the mission field!!!

Thu, 1 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

We were asked to write a blog about how we were called to this mission trip; so Here is my story....

Well lets see where to start would be a good question...

Around my junior year in High school i had to start thinking about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life??? This is way to huge of a decision to make when you're only 17. But I started thinking of things that I was most passionate about in my life, jobs or different things that gave me joy doing! Out of all these things the one thing that kept coming up in every area was helping people, meeting new people, and just making them smile! I worked and currently do now but I worked at Wal-Mart my senior year of high school and that brought so much joy to me everyday I worked there. I mean of course there were the really mean customers but even them I made it my goal to make them smile before they walked away from the counter. You meet so many kind of people there, broken people, happy, sad, just lost and don't wanna be found people, but the best times I ever had in life were when I was on mission trips with our youth group.

The second to last time I went to Jamaica the missionary we were staying with asked who was thought about going to school for missions...and I immediately said I was. So he told me stories of how he knew he was called to the mission field and then said to me that, "if you leavehere and don 't think another thing about the people you were here serving then missions is not for you, but if you go home and all you can think about and pray for are the people here you were serving, then you know you are suppose to be in missions some way or somehow."

It wasn't a question anymore so I decided to go to Johnson Bible College to be on the two year mission program! In this two years I was tested and tried but learned so much, and yet I wasn't getting out there and actually being or doing the things I learned about in class. This was very sad to me but for some reason didnt really change the things I was doing! We had the option of doing an internship in another country for the 2 months or more. I went to Zimbabwe, Africa for 2 and half months, and that was not long enough! It was an amazing experience and I wouldnt have traded it for the world. The people were amazing and had faith that I pray we all can have someday. I made some really great friends and miss them dearly. I graduated in May of 07 and started working with an inner city ministry as an AmeriCorps member here in Knoxville, TN where I currently live! I work with middle school kids and have an absolute blast. The families and kids bring me so much joy to my life! I truly love them and will miss them so much!We are only able to serve two years as an AmeriCorps at the same place.

Last year is when I actually heard about the world race from a friend and thought definitely it was what I wanted and needed to do. Well God has reasons why things happen the way they do and its awesome to just sit back see Him work. But anyways I decided to stay another year because I loved the kids to much to leave them and some other reasons but then after a turn of events...haha (sounds funny sorry) I decided why not just fill out the application, pray about it and see what happens after that. So I got accepted and at first I thought I might just be doing this, running away from things that have happened and not dealing with it the way I should've been. After talking with a couple of my mentors and praying about everything going on in my life, I realized that even if I was running from something, God could still use me and I could fall deeper and deeper in love with Him than ever before! SO Glad I signed up! :-)

Well here I am accepted, ready to go, and sooooo excited!!!! I am most excited that in this year I will be broken and become totally hopelessly in love more than ever with the only one that TRULY matters!!! I am in this world but I don't want to be of it any longer! He has ravished my heart!!!! :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)